distractions, drama and disappointment

I've been told that patience is a virtue and I agree with that but please don't test my patience. I don't have much to begin with and I'm not interested in getting more. I don't consider myself a high maintenance person but I do require some attention on a regular basis. Constant chaos and drama doesn't sit well with me. As a matter of fact, I abhor it. I've been in the midst of it for 10+ years and frankly, it is wearing thin on my nerves. I want peace, quiet and tranquility. I don't think it is too much to ask and if it is, I don't give a damn.

I like you. I think you are cool, smooth and sexy as hell. I want to spend time with you but you continue to let everything get in the way. These distractions are annoying to say the least and you continuously ask me to be patient while you go through your storms. I have had enough of storms and I don't feel like sitting idly by while you go through yours. I have a feeling that this is the norm and that's a shame because I really wanted to be with you. You have put me in a precarious position. My heart says to ride it out and my head says to cut my losses. I don't have to tell you this. I think you already know. It seems you are in sync with me so it is surprising that we have come to this.

While I sort this out, I am going to give you some space. Perhaps in a couple of weeks things will have died down a bit and you will find some time for me. If not, I'm moving on. I need to get out before I get too deep if it hasn't happened already. Since it is early in the game, the heartbreak won't hurt as much. Perhaps I shouldn't love hard but it is who I am. I can't change who I am, I can only change my reactions.

I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am. I was really looking forward to seeing you and the fact that you put rollo and low-life before me is a smack in the face. I could see if it was something that was important but them? Please. I thought I meant more to you than that. You tell me that regularly. As a matter of fact, you told me that last night but I am now seeing that it is bullshit. Smooth talkers are just that. All fluff and no substance. I am really getting tired of this. It seems that finding someone worthy of my time is a daunting task and I am not up to it. I am better off alone. I have all this love to give and nobody to give it to. Your loss.