distractions, drama and disappointment

I've been told that patience is a virtue and I agree with that but please don't test my patience. I don't have much to begin with and I'm not interested in getting more. I don't consider myself a high maintenance person but I do require some attention on a regular basis. Constant chaos and drama doesn't sit well with me. As a matter of fact, I abhor it. I've been in the midst of it for 10+ years and frankly, it is wearing thin on my nerves. I want peace, quiet and tranquility. I don't think it is too much to ask and if it is, I don't give a damn.

I like you. I think you are cool, smooth and sexy as hell. I want to spend time with you but you continue to let everything get in the way. These distractions are annoying to say the least and you continuously ask me to be patient while you go through your storms. I have had enough of storms and I don't feel like sitting idly by while you go through yours. I have a feeling that this is the norm and that's a shame because I really wanted to be with you. You have put me in a precarious position. My heart says to ride it out and my head says to cut my losses. I don't have to tell you this. I think you already know. It seems you are in sync with me so it is surprising that we have come to this.

While I sort this out, I am going to give you some space. Perhaps in a couple of weeks things will have died down a bit and you will find some time for me. If not, I'm moving on. I need to get out before I get too deep if it hasn't happened already. Since it is early in the game, the heartbreak won't hurt as much. Perhaps I shouldn't love hard but it is who I am. I can't change who I am, I can only change my reactions.

I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am. I was really looking forward to seeing you and the fact that you put rollo and low-life before me is a smack in the face. I could see if it was something that was important but them? Please. I thought I meant more to you than that. You tell me that regularly. As a matter of fact, you told me that last night but I am now seeing that it is bullshit. Smooth talkers are just that. All fluff and no substance. I am really getting tired of this. It seems that finding someone worthy of my time is a daunting task and I am not up to it. I am better off alone. I have all this love to give and nobody to give it to. Your loss.

Happiness is a decision

Note: This is a guest post by Michelle L. Casto of Brightlight Coaching

Happiness is a feeling every human being on this planet desires in their heart of hearts. And yet most of us look for happiness in all the wrong places and end up causing ourselves more suffering.

This is because we are looking outside of ourselves for some thing or some one to bring us that feeling.

Rumi once said, We go from room to room looking for the diamond necklace around our neck. So it is when we search “everywhere” for happiness, we never see where it really is, which is with us all along.

I think we all would agree that Happiness does not depend on material things, such as driving a certain car or holding a prestigious title. (although those things can add pleasure to your life).

Happiness does not depend on other people, like whether you have a significant other or not. (although having loving and supportive people around adds to your enjoyment)

Happiness does not depend on what happens, so if you stay, it will be good and if you go, it will be good.

Happiness is not to be found anywhere in the external world.

The main obstacle to happiness is faulty thinking. For instance thinking, someone or some thing can make you happy. Beware also of what A Course in Miracles calls, “elusive happiness, which is happiness that changes and shifts with times and places. ACIM says this kind of happiness is an illusion and has no meaning!”

So where does one find happiness?
Stop looking outside for what can only be found inside.
And make a decision to be happy.

Let me repeat that:

Happiness DOES depend on your decision to be happy.

So, consider this, have you ever made a conscious decision to be happy?

My guess is No.

Here is your official invitation to Be Happy!

Let’s join forces for happiness.

Repeat after me:

I, your name, decide to be happy right now, despite the weather, the world, or what happens to me.

I absolutely know it is my God-given birthright to be happy.

And as the light of God that I am, I reclaim happiness and happiness reclaims me.

So be this.

Michelle L. Casto is known as the Soul Diva Coach (Diva is sanskrit for shining light of the divine) Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. She loves working with women to discover their inner Goddess. Visit virtually: getsmartseries.com or smartlifechanges.com. Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 232-3939.

God answers prayers

I finally got word that Nia is ok. Houston has some power and all seems to be getting back to normal. Hopefully she will be able to go back to school and resume a 'normal' life again. I miss her very much and I hope to see her sometime in the future. Thanksgiving may not be feasible, nor Christmas. I have my hopes on spring break. You never know how much you miss someone until they are gone. Granted, she drives me crazy when I'm with her on a daily basis but believe this, I think about her every day and I miss having her around. She is a very important part of my life and I know that as she gets older, I will miss the things I will never get to see, her becoming a young lady, her hanging out with her friends, new things that she will experience, her observations of life and her surroundings. I miss her laugh, her smile, her hugs and kisses, her funny expressions, her attitude, her smell. I miss doing her hair and watching her eat something she likes. I can't share this with Jonathon because he doesn't understand nor care. He is in another place and he still needs to heal. I don't know what happened in that house that has made him so bitter. Of course he will not share his feelings and experiences with me. I can only guess. How long will it take to get my son back? How long until I see Nia again? How can I move on with my life when I have these nagging questions burning a hole in my brain? No wonder my neck and back are tight. I'm carrying this around and I see no relief in sight. I have faith that this will work itself out somehow. Perhaps when the divorce is final, I will begin to see light at the end of the tunnel. One can only pray this will be so.

Hurricane Ike

My baby is in Houston and I don't know if she is okay. Nobody has called me to give me any news and not knowing is really starting to wear on my nerves. Have they evacuated? Are they hurt? Are they trapped in a water-soaked house? Is she calling for me? I am praying that she is safe and sound and I am putting this in God's hands because it is too big for me and nothing is impossible for God.

Psalm 33:18-22
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name. Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us, just as we hope in You.

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

In Jesus' name...

The top 5 fundamentals for pulling off the impossible

1. It starts with your thoughts.

“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.”
It all starts with your thoughts. They and your emotions get you to do – or not to do – things. And how you think and feel about your results and the work you have to put in determines who you are becoming and you what are achieving.
How you act does also to a pretty large degree determine what you get from other people in your life. Emotions and thoughts are contagious. And you tend to get what you give, at least over time.
A brilliant and beautiful expansion on this very basic idea can be found in James Allen’s “As a man thinketh”.

2. Keep a steady and consistent focus.

”If I want to be as successful as I want to be, I have to be thinking about it all the time.”
Thinking about what you want is of course extremely important. But you also need to keep your focus there. Because you are and are becoming what you think about most of the time. If your focus starts to waver all over the place and you forget what you really want to focus on half the time or get caught up in other thoughts or emotions then things will be difficult.
Much of this comes down to how reactive you are to other people and events. If you are constantly in reaction to what happens around you, you let the outside world control what you focus on. So how can you get your focus to become more like an arrow that is moving forward rather than a boat where the guy at the rudder has fallen asleep?
How to train your mind to keep the focus on what you want:
Practice. This gets the mind used to this new way of keeping your focus. The mind will slowly start to accept this way, inner resistance will lessen and keeping the focus where you want it becomes easier.
Use your physiology and phraseology. You can use these two things to keep your emotions where you want them to be. Your emotions work backwards too. So by changing your physiology - how you sit, stand and move - to a more confident one you can feel more confident. And by using more positive words you can have a more positive frame of mind. So even if you don’t feel confident or positive right now you can quickly change that by changing your movement and words.
Reframing. You can use reframing - to see things in a different light - to help yourself. How do you do it? One way is to ask yourself some good questions. If you are in a “negative” situation you can reframe it by asking yourself: what is awesome about this? Or “what can I learn from this?” Check out a few more useful questions in this article.
Use an external reminder. Written notes in highly visible places or a bracelet with an inscription can help you to keep your focus in the right place throughout your normal day.

3. Dream without limits.

“You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.”

Sure, there might be some genetic advantages that some have that you don’t. Time can also be a factor. You may not be able to lose those 30 pounds within a month, but you can do it over a longer time span.
You can - to a large degree - dream without limits and also use your own natural advantages to your benefit.
Now, dreaming without limits may sound like empty self-help mumbo-jumbo. But your dreams and beliefs do to a large degree determine what you can and will allow yourself to do. As Henry Ford said in his famous quote:
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
In my experience this is very much true. And it comes down to if you can see what you want in your reality as something realistic and if you will allow it to be there. If you don’t then you’ll work against yourself. You’ll feel a lot of inner resistance that manifests in different ways such as self-sabotage in subtle and not so subtle ways.

4. Accept what happens and learn from it.

“A lot of new obstacles are coming, a lot of new feelings are coming, … I’m just taking it for what it is and learning from the mistakes I had this year.”

Resistance is fatal to get a good performance out of yourself. And as I mentioned last Friday, acceptance can help you to remove inner resistance and get things not only done but done in a better fashion than if you are resisting and working against yourself.
Acceptance is also very helpful when you make a mistake or fail. You can resist the failure/mistake and beat yourself up. This creates a lot of inner suffering and new resistance. And that makes it emotionally harder to keep going and trying since you associate mistakes and failure with so much pain.
Acceptance is a more useful approach. It can help you to release yourself from slipping into old, conditioned patterns of self-hurting behaviour when something “negative” happens.You can instead see a situation such as a failure with fresh eyes.
And instead of beating yourself up or feeling sorry for yourself you can see the situation in a more positive and constructive way. Like for instance by looking for the lessons or the positive stuff in your failure. One of the greatest things about acceptance is that it can give you freedom from your old behaviour patterns and “you acting as you have always done”.
Failure and mistakes can - in combination with acceptance - be very helpful. Here are four reasons why:
You learn. Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it more as a learning experience. When standing in the middle of a failure, you can ask yourself questions like the ones I mentioned above in the reframing section of tip #2. Questions like: What’s awesome about this situation? What can I learn from this situation? There is always one lesson or many more in what you may see as a failure.
You gain experiences you could not get any other way. Ideally, you probably want to learn from other people’s mistakes and failures. That’s not always easy to do though. Sometimes you just have to fail on your own to learn a lesson and to gain an experience no one can relate to you in mere words.
You become stronger. Every time you fail you become more accustomed to it. You get desensitized. You realize more and more that it’s not the end of the world. Failing may in fact become a bit anticlimactic – just like when successfully reaching a goal - after you have spent much time building a grandiose image of it in your head. Failing can also a have an exhilarating component because even though you failed you at least took a chance. You didn’t just sit on you hands doing nothing. And that took quite a bit of courage and determination.
Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time you fail you can learn and increase your inner strength. So every failure can make you more and more likely to succeed. And there is probably no other way to the success you dream of without a whole bunch of failures along the way.

5. Be careful with inflating your ego or identifying too strongly with your success.

“I’m the same kind of girl before all this happened.”

If you let the success go to your head then it can, for one, make you an arrogant jerk. It can also make you more emotionally reactive as you inflate your ego and strongly identify with your achievements.
This will feel awesome at first. But soon you may start to doubt that you are still as good as your last achievement and as awesome as everyone said you were. And so you become more reactive to criticism or having a bad day. This affects the steadiness of your focus, thoughts and emotions. And so your inner life becomes more of a roller coaster. All of this can not only affect your relationships with other people but also your performance.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have a high level of confidence in yourself and your abilities. It just means that you should be careful with getting completely wrapped up in your past achievements and letting you ego inflate too a harmful size.

Being Clear About Desires

Getting What We Want

The best way to get what we want from life is to first know what we want. If we haven’t taken the time to really understand and identify what would truly make us happy, we won’t be able to ask for it from those around us or from the universe. We may not even be able to recognize it once it arrives. Once we are clear about what we want, we can communicate it to those around us. When we can be honest about who we are and what we want, there is no need to demand, be rude or aggressive, or manipulate others that are involved in helping us get what we want. Instead, we know that we are transmitting a signal on the right frequency to bring all that we desire into our experience.

As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We may have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, or even engage in acts that use less than our highest integrity. The only rules we need to apply are those of intention and connection. In terms of energy, we can see that it takes a lot of energy to keep up a false front or act in a way that is counter to our true nature, but much less energy is expended when we can just be and enjoy connections that energize us in return. Then our energy can be directed toward living the life we want right now.

Society has certain expectations of behavior and the roles each of us should play, but as spiritual beings we are not bound by these superficial structures unless we choose to accept them. Instead, we can listen to our hearts and follow what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will find others who have chosen the same path. It can be easy to get caught up in following goals that appear to be what we want, but when we pursue the underlying value, we are certain to stay on our right path and continue to feed our soul.

Growing Pains

Difficult Times It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace. This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass. At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.