Conditioned Response

Reactions To Life Events

Our experiences color everything. The events of the past can have a profound effect on how we see our lives now and what we choose to believe about our world. Our past experiences can also influence our emotional reactions and responses to present events. Each of us reacts to stimulus based on what we have learned in life. There is no right or wrong to it; it is simply the result of past experience. Later, when our strong feelings have passed, we may be surprised at our reactions. Yet when we face a similar situation, again our reactions may be the same. When we understand those experiences, we can come that much closer to understanding our reactions and consciously change them.

Between stimulus and reaction exists a fleeting moment of thought. Often, that thought is based on something that has happened to you in the past. When presented with a similar situation later on, your natural impulse is to unconsciously regard it in a similar light. For example, if you survived a traumatic automobile accident as a youngster, the first thing you might feel upon witnessing even a minor collision between vehicles may be intense panic. If you harbor unpleasant associations with death from a past experience, you may find yourself unable to think about death as a gentle release or the next step toward a new kind of existence. You can, however, minimize the intensity of your reactions by identifying the momentary thought that inspires your reaction. Then, next time, replace that thought with a more positive one.

Modifying your reaction by modifying your thoughts is difficult, but it can help you to see and experience formerly unpleasant situations in a whole new light. It allows you to stop reacting unconsciously. Learning the reason of your reactions may also help you put aside a negative reaction long enough to respond in more positive and empowered ways. Your reactions and responses then become about what’s happening in the present moment rather than about the past. As time passes, your negative thoughts may lose strength, leaving only your positive thoughts to inform your healthy reactions.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved

Reflections of Self

We Are All Mirrors for Each Other

When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like.

Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues.

When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved

Success is a decision

Note: This is a guest post by Michelle L. Casto of Bright Light Coach.

Success — on some level or another is a state of being that every human being strives for. A sense of Success follows us from when we are wee toddlers to cane-walking grandparents.
And yet most of us look for success in external forms and end up feeling like we are missing something until we can reach a certain level—of money, love or recognition.
The ironic thing is just as we reach that plateau, we feel compelled to go higher still.
This ever-reaching is part of the human experience.
The question is how to handle it with grace?
In my 10+ years as a professional life coach, I have found that the best way is through becoming more expanded, more conscious, & more committed; and of course to be perfectly at peace wherever you are on the mountain.
You must learn to expect success from Life because you have made the decision.
You simply decide it and then you do it.
Yes, just because you say so.
We are masters of our own universe and can have, be, or do anything our heart desires.
The key is to want to become something more from the reaching and the risking, not for the end result.
I think we all would agree that Success does not depend on material things, such as driving a certain car or holding a prestigious title. (although those things look like success).
Success does not come from having a million dollars in the bank (although that does give you more personal freedom).
Success does not come from doing important things in the world (although others may tell you so).
You cannot feel successful based on anything in the in the external world.
In fact, you cannot feel anything outside of yourself!
You can only feel successful in your internal world.
It is how you feel on a day-to-day basis that really matters.
Can you go to bed every night feeling successful?
Most cannot.
Why?
Because they are buying into other people’s definitions of success.
Try my definition on for size and see how it feels to you.
One of my definitions of success is doing what I say I am going to do when I say I am going to do it.
I decide and then I do.
Sounds easy enough, so why do so many people drop the ball when they commit to themselves?Often, they have not developed those expanded personal qualities that will help them.
For example:Successful people have the courage to grow beyond their comfort zones.
They are whole-hearted and focused, pursuing a grand purpose.
They are fascinated, not frustrated; curious, not complacent.
They ask for and receive coaching/mentoring.
They are committed to raising their self-awareness.
Successful people are willing to do the inner work necessary to achieve greatness and they are very, very, very persistent.
Your Success Depends on Your Decision to Feel Successful.
So, consider this, have you ever made a conscious decision to be successful?
My guess is No.
Here is your official invitation to Feel Successful!
Let’s join forces for success.
Repeat after me:I, your name, decide to be successful right now, despite what challenges and obstacles I see.
I am doing wonderful work and I am proud of myself for accomplishing this today_______________.
I absolutely know it is my God-given birthright to be successful.
And as the light of God that I am, I reclaim success and success reclaims me.
So be this.

Copyright Michelle L. Casto, September 2008

Michelle L. Casto is known as the Soul Diva Coach (Diva is sanskrit for shining light of the divine) Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. She loves working with transformational business owners to help them build and brand their business.
Visit virtually: brightlightcoach.com or getsmartseries.com or smartlifechanges.com.
Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 232-3939.
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Unhindered Movement

Get Out of Your Own Way

When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results.

If you believe that you’ve been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you’ve done so. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can now do so.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved

Warning Signs

Paying Attention To Red Flags

Just as the universe wants to provide for our needs, it also seeks to protect us from dangerous situations, destructive relationships, and even minor inconveniences. Frequently in our lives, perhaps everyday, we encounter psychic red flags warning us of potential problems or accidents. We may not always recognize the signs. However, more often than not, we may choose to ignore our intuition when it tells us that "something just isn’t right."

Red flags often come in the form of feelings urging us to pause for a moment, listen to our intuition, and reconsider. We may even experience a "bad" feeling in our bellies. This is a red flag letting us know that there may be a problem. We may not even know what the red flag is about. All we know is that the universe is trying to wave us in a different direction. We just have to pay attention and go another way. We may even wonder whether we are paranoid or imagining things. However, when we look back at a situation or relationship where there were red flags, it becomes easy to understand exactly what those warning signs meant. More often than not, a red flag is not a false warning. Rather, it is the universe’s way of informing us, through our own innate guidance system, that our path best lies elsewhere.

We may try to ignore the red flags waving our way, dismissing our unease as illogical. Yet it is always in our best interest to pay attention to them. For example, we may meet someone who outwardly seems perfect. They are intelligent, attractive, and charming. Yet, for some reason, being around them makes us feel uneasy. Any interactions we have with them are awkward and leave us feeling like there is something "off" about the situation. This is not necessarily a bad person. But, for some reason, the universe is directing us away from them. Red flags are intended with our best interests at heart. No harm can ever come from stopping long enough to heed a red flag. Pay attention to any red flags that pop up. The universe is always looking out for you.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved

7 Timeless Thoughts on Patience

“God bestows upon one man genius without patience and upon another man patience without genius. The relative achievements of the two are often surprising.”
Walter C. Klein

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
St. Augustine

“If I have made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention than to any other talent.”
Sir Isaac Newton

One of the most helpful qualities a person can have if s/he wants to grow is to be patient. With patience and persistence you can overcome pretty much anything.But why is it hard to be patient? And how can patience help you out practically in life?
Here are seven timeless thoughts that may give some answers to such questions.

1. Social programming can stand in the way.

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?”
Paul Sweeney

Everything is moving fast in today’s society. Instant gratification is default setting in many minds.I’m not saying this to rail against today’s society. I’m just saying it to give at least a partial explanation why patience is hard to understand and use to your advantage. Social programming doesn’t pay much attention to patience. It wants you to do more right now instead. And after a few years here you may want to have more things right now. And the thought of delaying gratification may seem a bit… weird.

2. With patience you’ll get it.

“He that can have patience, can have what he will”
Benjamin Franklin

This may not be such a popular thought. People may not want to hear about it. Still it’s what every successful person has had. They chipped away. Practised day in and day out. It often looks like they have some massive talent when they become successful. That might be the case. But people may not see all the years of hard work that came before that big break. Or they don’t want to see it and instead rationalize it as “huge talent”. That way they don’t have to think about the fact that they also have the option of putting in all that work. And that they that way could perhaps someday even outdo the dreams they have right now. It’s easier to just put it down as huge talent. And keep dreaming about quick fixes and magic pills.

3. Don’t give up yet.

“Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.”
Soren Kierkegaard

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.“
Albert Einstein

Since society tells us to look for quick fixes it’s easy to make the mistake of giving up to soon. After you have failed perhaps 1-5 times. That’s the “normal” thing to do. But what could have happened if someone just kept going after that? And for each failure learned more and more about what works?I think people often make a mistake of giving up too early. Your mind probably has a reasonable timeframe for success. This might not correspond to a realistic timeframe though. It’s useful to take a break from advertised perspectives and let more realistic perspectives seep into your mind. Learn from people who have gone where you want to go. Talk to them. Read what they have to say in books or online. This will not give complete plan but a clearer perspective of what is needed to achieve what you want.Now, that’s not to say that you should never quit. But it can be helpful to keep going on your current path for a while longer.And that’s not to say that you should do the same thing over and over in exactly the same manner. It’s better to do and get an experience. Take the lessons you can learn from that real life experience. And then adjust how you do things as you try again.

4. It gives you an advantage.

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”
Thomas Jefferson

While other people fly off the handle you can remain cool and patient. While other people give up after trying a few times you keep moving. While others run in circles chasing the next quick solution to their problems you stay steadily on your path.

5. It’s a form of protection.

“Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will be powerless to vex your mind.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

This is a wonderful point. With patience wrongs or failure will not feel like the end of the world. They no longer hold such a a large emotional power over you that you just give up. You know that if you just keep going and perhaps adjust how you do things then your life will improve.

6. Build it.

“Patience can’t be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.”
Eknath Easwaran

“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”
Helen Keller

The more you can remain patient the easier it gets. It’s a muscle you build over years of time. As Keller says, life can teach you to become more patient. During the rough parts of life you often have no choice but to be patient. These are the times that will especially strengthen your patience muscle. When we are young we get much of what we want instantly from our parents and other grown ups. As we become adults we learn that people won’t give us everything we want anymore. If we want to have the things we really want we often have to learn to be patient. Otherwise we may time after time wind up in a loop where we get things we kinda want right now to cover up the real wants. This can bring dissatisfaction after the initial buzz of newness dissipates. A vague knowing at the back of our heads. As we consume more right now to make that uneasiness go away.

7. Be patient with yourself.

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.”
St. Francis de Sales

This is a very important thing to keep in mind when it comes to personal development and life. Because things will not always go as planned. You will fail. You will bail out because of fear. You will become confused. You will do things you know you shouldn’t have done. You will probably do these things more than once. Don’t beat yourself up about it for two weeks or three months. Or give up. Be patient with yourself. And get back up on that horse and back in the saddle again tomorrow.

Growing Pains

Initiations For Growth

Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of life’s lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for spiritual growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary.

The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we don’t want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner.

At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isn’t so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that journey. Not only do we end up learning and growing, but we inevitably become more compassionate to the challenges of others and wiser in the ways of the world. Our faith in the universe also grows because, ultimately, we can’t help but realize how much we are supported and taken care of at all times. When we are in the midst of a growing period, it is not easy to see our reward, but it is there, waiting for us to grow big enough to reach it.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved

How To Liberate the Hero In You

One of the great things about the movies is that the hero always manages to lift up from life’s troubles. While the rest of us mere mortals would curl up in a dark corner, the hero commits fully to the journey ahead and finds a way to restore the world’s balance. If we look closely at the making of a hero, we notice that initially the hero is reluctant to take on the challenge because of personal fears or insecurities. For a short time, the hero faces doubt and perhaps even a momentary meltdown. The hero may panic or break down in a fit of despair or passing hopelessness. But that’s just in the short-term. Overall, the hero doesn’t check out for the rest of the movie until the bad things go away. The hero doesn’t give up and run to the nearest fast food restaurant to escape from life in a double cheeseburger and fries. And the hero doesn’t permanently give up and drown in a bottle of whiskey.Our hero eventually takes a deep breath, accepts the situation, and steps up to the challenge. A transformation occurs as the character faces a situation that demands some kind of change. Our hero is able to let go of a particular mindset, and propel into action to overcome adversity. That’s why we love movies. We identify with the vulnerability of the character as he initially shy’s away from an overwhelming challenge. Then our hearts surge with excitement as we watch the character dig deep within to discover loyalty and commitment to the cause. We feel positive emotional energy as we watch the hero face the challenge with integrity, determination, and persistence. Movie heroes show us that it is possible to be vulnerable yet courageous. It is possible to face our problems while maintaining faith and commitment throughout the journey. Life Is An Action Movie Luckily, most of us will not ever face the extreme situations portrayed in movies. Life is generally much more ordinary and routine. However, we all experience challenges, misfortune, and hardship that demand we grow beyond our current abilities. These changes require that we step beyond our comfort circles and explore new avenues of self-expression. Are you the confident hero of your own life, leading yourself compassionately and decisively – not only when things are smooth, but especially when the going gets tough? Look closely at your self-leadership personality as you face the challenges and goals most important to you. How do you solve problems? How do you respond to pressure? How do you interact with yourself when facing difficulty? What motivates you to stay focused to achieve your goal to great success? To become a confident heroic leader of your own life, follow this empowering checklist:1) Identify and accept your fear or challenge. Dedicate yourself to achieving a successful outcome, no matter what monsters you may face along the way.2) Identify the mindset or qualities you wish you had – courage, persistence, optimism, faith, belief in yourself, resourcefulness, inspiration, etc.3) See the challenge as a situation providing many, many opportunities to develop more of the qualities you wish to posses.4) Appoint yourself in charge of making decisions related to your goal, cause, or overall desired outcome.5) Use your imagination to identify the single next step you can take to face your fear or challenge.6) Take action to move you forward into a positive outcome – but do so in a manner that allows your courage, love of self, or faith to expand.There’s a hero that is always with you, when you are in joy, in pain, or in fear. That hero is your spirit of hope, imagination, and persistence – and that hero lies within you. Follow the tips above and release your hidden inner hero!

By Dr. Annette Colby

Becoming Whole Again

The Process of Grieving

When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness. The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for “abandoning” you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through – moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance – the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again. As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life.

The Journey of Finding a Relationship

Our Relationship Choices

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship. We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships — we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships.Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

Intertwined Fates

We Are All Connected

There are times when we may feel disconnected from the world. Our actions can seem like they are of no major consequence, and we may feel like we exist in our own vacuum. Yet, the truth is that our simplest thought or action - the decisions we make each day, and how we see and relate to the world - can be incredibly significant and have a profound impact on the lives of those around us, as well as the world at large. The earth and everything on it is bound by an invisible connection between people, animals, plants, the air, the water, and the soil. Insignificant actions on your part, whether positive or negative, can have an impact on people and the environment that seem entirely separate from your personal realm of existence. Staying conscious of the interconnection between all things can help you think of your choices and your life in terms of the broader effect you may be creating.Think of buying a wooden stool. The wood was once part of a tree which is part of a forest. A person was paid to fell the tree, another to cut the wood, and yet another to build the stool. Their income may have had a positive effect on their families, just as the loss of the tree may have had a negative impact on the forest or the animals that made that tree their home. An encouraging word to a young child about their special talent can influence this person to develop their gift so that one day their inventions can change the lives of millions. A poem written “merely” to express oneself can make a stranger reading it online from thousands of miles away feel less alone because there is someone else out there who feels exactly the way they do. Staying conscious of your connection to all things can help you think of your choices in terms of their impact. We are powerful enough that what we do and say can reverberate through the lives of people we may never meet. Understanding that you are intimately connected with all things and understanding your power to affect our world can be the first step on the road to living more consciously.

Embracing Unpredictability

When Life Throws You A Curve Ball

In life, we are always setting goals for ourselves and working to make them happen. This gives us focus and ensures that we use our time and energy efficiently and effectively. It also provides us with a sense of purpose and direction. We know where we are going and what we want to do. But quite often, due to forces outside our control, things do not go as we had planned—the flat tire on the way to the wedding, the unforeseen flu virus—and we have to adjust to a postponement or create a whole new set of circumstances. Even positive turns of fortune — an unexpected influx of cash or falling in love — require us to be flexible and to reconsider our plans and priorities, sometimes in the blink of an eye. This is what happens when life throws you a curve ball.The ability to accept what is happening and let go of your original expectations is key when dealing with these unexpected turns of fate. We have a tendency to get stuck in our heads, clinging to an idea of how we think life should go, and we can have a hard time accepting anything that doesn’t comply with that idea. The fact is that life is unpredictable. The trip you thought was for business — and when the deal fell through, you got depressed — actually landed you at the airport two days earlier than planned so you could meet the love of your life. Your car breaks down, and you are late for an appointment. While it’s true that you never arrive at that important meeting, you end up spending a few relaxing hours with people you would never have met otherwise.In order to keep us awake to opportunity and to teach us equanimity, the universe throws us the occasional curve ball. Remember that curve balls are not only life’s way of keeping us awake, which is a gift in and of itself; they are also often life’s way of bringing us wonderful surprises. Next time a curve ball comes your way, take a deep breath, say thank you, and open your mind to a new opportunity.

Sharing your genius

Your Special Gift

Each of us is born with a specific genius that was bestowed upon us so we can do our part to make this world a better place. All of us have a role that we’re uniquely suited for. Imagine our planet without trees, oceans, or clouds. In this same way, when one of us doesn’t develop or use our special gift, a cosmic void takes place.

This unique talent or ability may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands. Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can overlook our own gifts. It may even be that our unique ability is something we view negatively. Perhaps we find it difficult concentrating on any one subject for long; meanwhile, others are thrilled by our ability to weave various ideas throughout our conversations. Or, you might think of yourself as “frivolous,” when it’s likely your charming approach to life casts a light of inspiration that others can’t help but follow. It’s important for all of us to try to find our special gift and discover how we can best express it. Ask others to name what they think is your most overlooked talent or character trait. Their answers may change your life.

Explore these riches that are yours to express, and you may find yourself helping others discover and develop their own blessings. Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you. Tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block. Thank your coworker for always greeting your days together with a smile. Tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place. Our unique gifts are like golden rays of expression that can encircle the world with light.

Putting my selfishness aside

My aunt is dying.  There is no pretty way to put it.  She has been in and out of the hospital for years and has had quite a few close calls.  They are coming more regularly now and she is in intensive care more than she is out.  I haven't spoken to her in years due to a major falling out we had.  My stubborness has prevented me from seeing her nor speaking with her and it is making my dad unhappy even though he would never admit it.  My gut is telling me to put my childish, selfish ways aside and go see her before she goes.  I'm expecting it any day.  God, please guide me.  Order my steps.  Help me be the person You created.  Help me be there for my family during this trying time.  I call myself an adult and now I need to act like one.  This is not the time to be stubborn to make a point.  Hell, she probably don't even remember what started this and I need to end it.  

Now.  

Jesus help me.

Answering the Call

Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny

There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality. 

Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside. 

Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.

Letter to my man

If you only knew how I really feel about you. When I first noticed you, I was instantly attracted to you. When you smiled, I couldn't help but smile. I responded to your voice and I looked forward to seeing you. I thought I was happy because I was on my way home but I came to realize I was looking forward to seeing you again.

When you gave me your card, I was overjoyed. I haven't lost that feeling after all this time. I still get butterflies when I see you and I get warm inside when I think about you which is all the time. I have a flood of emotions about you. There is nobody else I'd rather spend my time but you. I love looking at you, smelling you, touching you, making love with you and just savoring your essence. The feelings I have for you are real, deep and strong. I cannot imagine living my life without you. Having you in my life is like heaven on earth.

I wish you would take the time to really get to know me, to find out what I like, what turns me on and what satisfies me. If you only knew that I like what you like. I want to be caressed from head to toe. I like long, soft, sensuous lovemaking in candlelight. I would like for you to explore my body and discover all my hidden treasures.

I would like for you to take the time to listen to what I have to say. To allow me to share my thoughts and fantasies with you. I would like to dance with you. I want to dance to a love song so you can feel my heart beating against you. I want you to hold me close to you and then you can feel what I want to say to you. I want you to hear my body sing to you. I want to share my love and my life with you. I am in love with you.

Letting Yourself Be Seen

Being Witnessed

When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing apersonal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way. Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.

Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you. Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.

Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one’s eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter. In letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.

distractions, drama and disappointment

I've been told that patience is a virtue and I agree with that but please don't test my patience. I don't have much to begin with and I'm not interested in getting more. I don't consider myself a high maintenance person but I do require some attention on a regular basis. Constant chaos and drama doesn't sit well with me. As a matter of fact, I abhor it. I've been in the midst of it for 10+ years and frankly, it is wearing thin on my nerves. I want peace, quiet and tranquility. I don't think it is too much to ask and if it is, I don't give a damn.

I like you. I think you are cool, smooth and sexy as hell. I want to spend time with you but you continue to let everything get in the way. These distractions are annoying to say the least and you continuously ask me to be patient while you go through your storms. I have had enough of storms and I don't feel like sitting idly by while you go through yours. I have a feeling that this is the norm and that's a shame because I really wanted to be with you. You have put me in a precarious position. My heart says to ride it out and my head says to cut my losses. I don't have to tell you this. I think you already know. It seems you are in sync with me so it is surprising that we have come to this.

While I sort this out, I am going to give you some space. Perhaps in a couple of weeks things will have died down a bit and you will find some time for me. If not, I'm moving on. I need to get out before I get too deep if it hasn't happened already. Since it is early in the game, the heartbreak won't hurt as much. Perhaps I shouldn't love hard but it is who I am. I can't change who I am, I can only change my reactions.

I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am. I was really looking forward to seeing you and the fact that you put rollo and low-life before me is a smack in the face. I could see if it was something that was important but them? Please. I thought I meant more to you than that. You tell me that regularly. As a matter of fact, you told me that last night but I am now seeing that it is bullshit. Smooth talkers are just that. All fluff and no substance. I am really getting tired of this. It seems that finding someone worthy of my time is a daunting task and I am not up to it. I am better off alone. I have all this love to give and nobody to give it to. Your loss.

Happiness is a decision

Note: This is a guest post by Michelle L. Casto of Brightlight Coaching

Happiness is a feeling every human being on this planet desires in their heart of hearts. And yet most of us look for happiness in all the wrong places and end up causing ourselves more suffering.

This is because we are looking outside of ourselves for some thing or some one to bring us that feeling.

Rumi once said, We go from room to room looking for the diamond necklace around our neck. So it is when we search “everywhere” for happiness, we never see where it really is, which is with us all along.

I think we all would agree that Happiness does not depend on material things, such as driving a certain car or holding a prestigious title. (although those things can add pleasure to your life).

Happiness does not depend on other people, like whether you have a significant other or not. (although having loving and supportive people around adds to your enjoyment)

Happiness does not depend on what happens, so if you stay, it will be good and if you go, it will be good.

Happiness is not to be found anywhere in the external world.

The main obstacle to happiness is faulty thinking. For instance thinking, someone or some thing can make you happy. Beware also of what A Course in Miracles calls, “elusive happiness, which is happiness that changes and shifts with times and places. ACIM says this kind of happiness is an illusion and has no meaning!”

So where does one find happiness?
Stop looking outside for what can only be found inside.
And make a decision to be happy.

Let me repeat that:

Happiness DOES depend on your decision to be happy.

So, consider this, have you ever made a conscious decision to be happy?

My guess is No.

Here is your official invitation to Be Happy!

Let’s join forces for happiness.

Repeat after me:

I, your name, decide to be happy right now, despite the weather, the world, or what happens to me.

I absolutely know it is my God-given birthright to be happy.

And as the light of God that I am, I reclaim happiness and happiness reclaims me.

So be this.

Michelle L. Casto is known as the Soul Diva Coach (Diva is sanskrit for shining light of the divine) Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. She loves working with women to discover their inner Goddess. Visit virtually: getsmartseries.com or smartlifechanges.com. Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 232-3939.

God answers prayers

I finally got word that Nia is ok. Houston has some power and all seems to be getting back to normal. Hopefully she will be able to go back to school and resume a 'normal' life again. I miss her very much and I hope to see her sometime in the future. Thanksgiving may not be feasible, nor Christmas. I have my hopes on spring break. You never know how much you miss someone until they are gone. Granted, she drives me crazy when I'm with her on a daily basis but believe this, I think about her every day and I miss having her around. She is a very important part of my life and I know that as she gets older, I will miss the things I will never get to see, her becoming a young lady, her hanging out with her friends, new things that she will experience, her observations of life and her surroundings. I miss her laugh, her smile, her hugs and kisses, her funny expressions, her attitude, her smell. I miss doing her hair and watching her eat something she likes. I can't share this with Jonathon because he doesn't understand nor care. He is in another place and he still needs to heal. I don't know what happened in that house that has made him so bitter. Of course he will not share his feelings and experiences with me. I can only guess. How long will it take to get my son back? How long until I see Nia again? How can I move on with my life when I have these nagging questions burning a hole in my brain? No wonder my neck and back are tight. I'm carrying this around and I see no relief in sight. I have faith that this will work itself out somehow. Perhaps when the divorce is final, I will begin to see light at the end of the tunnel. One can only pray this will be so.

Hurricane Ike

My baby is in Houston and I don't know if she is okay. Nobody has called me to give me any news and not knowing is really starting to wear on my nerves. Have they evacuated? Are they hurt? Are they trapped in a water-soaked house? Is she calling for me? I am praying that she is safe and sound and I am putting this in God's hands because it is too big for me and nothing is impossible for God.

Psalm 33:18-22
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name. Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us, just as we hope in You.

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

In Jesus' name...

The top 5 fundamentals for pulling off the impossible

1. It starts with your thoughts.

“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.”
It all starts with your thoughts. They and your emotions get you to do – or not to do – things. And how you think and feel about your results and the work you have to put in determines who you are becoming and you what are achieving.
How you act does also to a pretty large degree determine what you get from other people in your life. Emotions and thoughts are contagious. And you tend to get what you give, at least over time.
A brilliant and beautiful expansion on this very basic idea can be found in James Allen’s “As a man thinketh”.

2. Keep a steady and consistent focus.

”If I want to be as successful as I want to be, I have to be thinking about it all the time.”
Thinking about what you want is of course extremely important. But you also need to keep your focus there. Because you are and are becoming what you think about most of the time. If your focus starts to waver all over the place and you forget what you really want to focus on half the time or get caught up in other thoughts or emotions then things will be difficult.
Much of this comes down to how reactive you are to other people and events. If you are constantly in reaction to what happens around you, you let the outside world control what you focus on. So how can you get your focus to become more like an arrow that is moving forward rather than a boat where the guy at the rudder has fallen asleep?
How to train your mind to keep the focus on what you want:
Practice. This gets the mind used to this new way of keeping your focus. The mind will slowly start to accept this way, inner resistance will lessen and keeping the focus where you want it becomes easier.
Use your physiology and phraseology. You can use these two things to keep your emotions where you want them to be. Your emotions work backwards too. So by changing your physiology - how you sit, stand and move - to a more confident one you can feel more confident. And by using more positive words you can have a more positive frame of mind. So even if you don’t feel confident or positive right now you can quickly change that by changing your movement and words.
Reframing. You can use reframing - to see things in a different light - to help yourself. How do you do it? One way is to ask yourself some good questions. If you are in a “negative” situation you can reframe it by asking yourself: what is awesome about this? Or “what can I learn from this?” Check out a few more useful questions in this article.
Use an external reminder. Written notes in highly visible places or a bracelet with an inscription can help you to keep your focus in the right place throughout your normal day.

3. Dream without limits.

“You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.”

Sure, there might be some genetic advantages that some have that you don’t. Time can also be a factor. You may not be able to lose those 30 pounds within a month, but you can do it over a longer time span.
You can - to a large degree - dream without limits and also use your own natural advantages to your benefit.
Now, dreaming without limits may sound like empty self-help mumbo-jumbo. But your dreams and beliefs do to a large degree determine what you can and will allow yourself to do. As Henry Ford said in his famous quote:
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
In my experience this is very much true. And it comes down to if you can see what you want in your reality as something realistic and if you will allow it to be there. If you don’t then you’ll work against yourself. You’ll feel a lot of inner resistance that manifests in different ways such as self-sabotage in subtle and not so subtle ways.

4. Accept what happens and learn from it.

“A lot of new obstacles are coming, a lot of new feelings are coming, … I’m just taking it for what it is and learning from the mistakes I had this year.”

Resistance is fatal to get a good performance out of yourself. And as I mentioned last Friday, acceptance can help you to remove inner resistance and get things not only done but done in a better fashion than if you are resisting and working against yourself.
Acceptance is also very helpful when you make a mistake or fail. You can resist the failure/mistake and beat yourself up. This creates a lot of inner suffering and new resistance. And that makes it emotionally harder to keep going and trying since you associate mistakes and failure with so much pain.
Acceptance is a more useful approach. It can help you to release yourself from slipping into old, conditioned patterns of self-hurting behaviour when something “negative” happens.You can instead see a situation such as a failure with fresh eyes.
And instead of beating yourself up or feeling sorry for yourself you can see the situation in a more positive and constructive way. Like for instance by looking for the lessons or the positive stuff in your failure. One of the greatest things about acceptance is that it can give you freedom from your old behaviour patterns and “you acting as you have always done”.
Failure and mistakes can - in combination with acceptance - be very helpful. Here are four reasons why:
You learn. Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it more as a learning experience. When standing in the middle of a failure, you can ask yourself questions like the ones I mentioned above in the reframing section of tip #2. Questions like: What’s awesome about this situation? What can I learn from this situation? There is always one lesson or many more in what you may see as a failure.
You gain experiences you could not get any other way. Ideally, you probably want to learn from other people’s mistakes and failures. That’s not always easy to do though. Sometimes you just have to fail on your own to learn a lesson and to gain an experience no one can relate to you in mere words.
You become stronger. Every time you fail you become more accustomed to it. You get desensitized. You realize more and more that it’s not the end of the world. Failing may in fact become a bit anticlimactic – just like when successfully reaching a goal - after you have spent much time building a grandiose image of it in your head. Failing can also a have an exhilarating component because even though you failed you at least took a chance. You didn’t just sit on you hands doing nothing. And that took quite a bit of courage and determination.
Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time you fail you can learn and increase your inner strength. So every failure can make you more and more likely to succeed. And there is probably no other way to the success you dream of without a whole bunch of failures along the way.

5. Be careful with inflating your ego or identifying too strongly with your success.

“I’m the same kind of girl before all this happened.”

If you let the success go to your head then it can, for one, make you an arrogant jerk. It can also make you more emotionally reactive as you inflate your ego and strongly identify with your achievements.
This will feel awesome at first. But soon you may start to doubt that you are still as good as your last achievement and as awesome as everyone said you were. And so you become more reactive to criticism or having a bad day. This affects the steadiness of your focus, thoughts and emotions. And so your inner life becomes more of a roller coaster. All of this can not only affect your relationships with other people but also your performance.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have a high level of confidence in yourself and your abilities. It just means that you should be careful with getting completely wrapped up in your past achievements and letting you ego inflate too a harmful size.

Being Clear About Desires

Getting What We Want

The best way to get what we want from life is to first know what we want. If we haven’t taken the time to really understand and identify what would truly make us happy, we won’t be able to ask for it from those around us or from the universe. We may not even be able to recognize it once it arrives. Once we are clear about what we want, we can communicate it to those around us. When we can be honest about who we are and what we want, there is no need to demand, be rude or aggressive, or manipulate others that are involved in helping us get what we want. Instead, we know that we are transmitting a signal on the right frequency to bring all that we desire into our experience.

As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We may have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, or even engage in acts that use less than our highest integrity. The only rules we need to apply are those of intention and connection. In terms of energy, we can see that it takes a lot of energy to keep up a false front or act in a way that is counter to our true nature, but much less energy is expended when we can just be and enjoy connections that energize us in return. Then our energy can be directed toward living the life we want right now.

Society has certain expectations of behavior and the roles each of us should play, but as spiritual beings we are not bound by these superficial structures unless we choose to accept them. Instead, we can listen to our hearts and follow what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will find others who have chosen the same path. It can be easy to get caught up in following goals that appear to be what we want, but when we pursue the underlying value, we are certain to stay on our right path and continue to feed our soul.

Growing Pains

Difficult Times It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace. This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass. At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Mozart’s Top 3 Tips for Making Your Own Kind of Music

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart seemed to live a pretty fast and quick life. He started writing his own music when he was just four years old. When he was six he played violin to the emperor of Austria. At 14 he wrote music for Milan Opera.
As an adult he worked at a furious pace. By the end of his life he had written over 600 pieces of music. A life that ended early, just before his 36:th birthday.
Mozart was buried in an simple way. But went down in the history as one of the greatest composers of all time.

1. Go with your gut.
“I pay no attention whatever to any body’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.”
People often want to be praised and like positive attention but want to be able to not take negative criticism to heart. But the two go together. To be able to give up one you have to give up your craving for the other too.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy if someone gives you a compliment. It just means that you don’t need the praise. You are sure enough of yourself to not need or rely on praise from everyone anymore to feel good about yourself. You validate yourself. Instead of seeking everyone else’s validation in a rat race that you can keep running in for the rest of your life. Because other people’s validation will never be enough. You may be satisfied for a while. But soon the ego wants a little more.
And for several reasons it is most often better to go with your gut. Three of them are:
People give advice on everything. Perhaps they are right. Perhaps what they are saying works for them but works differently for you. Perhaps they are just saying things that are a reflection of their own pessimism or negativity rather than of how things actually work. It is often better to just do and find out for yourself what happens.
You have to make your own mistakes. People may want to protect your from making mistakes, failing and getting hurt. And that’s all well and good. But if you never make any mistakes or fail you will not learn and understand all that you can. Or expand your comfort zones and your life. Or make yourself emotionally strong and self-confident as you learn that you are resilient and can handle much more than you might think. Mistakes and failure can be quite helpful if you look at them in a useful way.
Thoughts aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Your thoughts may try to tell you that they are the best things since sliced bread. But often they can become self-imposed obstacles. Or start running in pointless loops as you get stuck in over-thinking things. But deep down you feel what the right thing to do is. And if you follow those feelings then in retrospect you often realize that it was the right thing to do. Or if not, then you have a good opportunity to learn a few lessons.

2. You choose how you want to be treated.
“One must not make oneself cheap here - that is a cardinal point - or else one is done. Whoever is most impertinent has the best chance.”
Do you have to be impertinent to get things done? Perhaps not. But you have to choose how you want to be treated. If you go along as you have always done then nothing will change in how people treat you.
The main point to me here is to not make yourself cheap. Your set your own value. And as you do you might as well choose to set that value where you want it. Not where someone else would be most comfortable at or where people have influenced you to put your value in the past.
This may sound a bit counter-intuitive but we choose how we want to be treated. The choice is in your hands. You choose how you expect people to treat you. And that can have a big effect on how you allow yourself to act and how people around you view and treat you.
So you have to be careful with your expectations. If you start creating a role for yourself where you always let people do what they want to you - a role where you make yourself cheap - then you may create some pretty destructive and negative things.
Not only do you create a victim identity for yourself where you start thinking that this is just who you are and that you should just expect and accept that people will treat you poorly. You also create the notion in everybody else’s mind that it’s OK to treat you this way since you aren’t protesting.
This leads to your victim identity being reinforced by the social feedback loop every week. The more people treat you in the way that you and they expect, the stronger your current identity grows.
It’s of course more helpful to use this in more positive way.
So change the way you expect to be treated. Change the way your treat yourself (because that will shine through to other people and they may start treating your in a similar manner). Create and reinforce a new and more positive identity with the help of the people around you.

3. Ideas and insights can show up at odd times. Be prepared.
“When I am traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep; it is on such occasions that ideas flow best and most abundantly.”
Carry a pen and paper. Or a cellphone. I prefer a pen and a small notepad, but anything works that helps you to get your thought out of your head and onto something.
This one connects to the first tip. Always write down thoughts and insights that feel important to you. Otherwise they’ll probably disappear as quickly as they appeared. And then you may forget and have to wait until they reappear again (which they often do, in my experience). It’s an unnecessary wait though that can be easily avoided.
Replace the lazy habit of “Ah, I’ll remember it…” with the habit of taking careful notes. It may feel a little bothersome in the beginning, but that goes away when you start seeing how this tiny habit can affect your life.

The Tea Cup

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the
beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and
especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary and the shop they visited had a beautiful teacup.

They said to the shop assistant, "May we see that? We've never
seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it over to them,
the teacup spoke suddenly.

"You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup.
There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took
me, rolled me, patted me over and over and I yelled out,
'Let me alone' but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said,
"and suddenly I was spun around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!'
I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered
why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door.
I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as
he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to
cool. 'There, that's better', I said. And he brushed and painted
me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag.
'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first
one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate.
I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could
see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'

Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it.
I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out
and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a
mirror and I couldn't believe it was me.
'It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be
rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you would have
dried up.

I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I
had stopped, you would have crumbled.

I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if
I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked.

I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all
over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened;
you would not have had any color in your life.

And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't
survive for very long because the hardness would not have held.

Now you are a finished product.

You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.

Moral: God knows what He's doing for all of us. He is the
potter and we are His clay. He will mold us so that we may be
made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good,
pleasing, and perfect will.

Let this story remind you that God has a perfect plan for your
life. He may need to place some obstacles in your life to
strengthen your character, so that you may be strong in the days
of greater adversity. Don't get discouraged when you feel like
the heat of the struggle is going to burn you. God knows
exactly when to pull you out and deliver you from that problem
and when He does you will be much wiser and stronger than you
were before.

God knows your inner strength and ability to be strong even in
the midst of a problem.


~Author Unknown~

A Bad Habit

Being Hard On Ourselves

One of the key components of human consciousness that most of us need to address and change is our tendency to be hard on ourselves. We do this in ways that are both overt and subtle, and half the work sometimes is recognizing that we are doing it at all. For example, if we find it difficult to graciously accept compliments, this is probably a sign that we tend to be hard on ourselves. Other ways in which we express this tendency include never feeling satisfied with a job well done, always wanting to be and do better, and getting mad at ourselves for getting sick. Getting mad at ourselves at all indicates that we need to rescue ourselves from our learned ability to be unkind to ourselves.

In essence, when we are hard on ourselves, we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough. Whenever we do this, we do damage that will need to be addressed later, and we sap our systems of much-needed energy. Being hard on ourselves is a waste of precious time and energy that we could use in positive ways. To begin to understand how this works, we can think about times when someone made us feel that we weren’t good enough. Even just thinking about it will create an effect in our bodies that doesn’t feel good. We may be used to the feeling, but when we really tune into it, we instinctively know that it is not good for us on any level.

Like any bad habit, being hard on ourselves can be a challenging one to release, but the more we feel the burden it places on us, the more motivated we will be to change. At first, just noticing when we are doing it and how it makes us feel is enough. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural relationship with ourselves.

Under The Hood

Importance Of Looking Deeper

It’s easy to get caught up in examining our actions instead of really deeply examining ourselves. This can be deceiving because our actions may be very spiritual—we meditate, are nice to people, take care of ourselves and others—and yet, we may not be penetrating to the issues below the surface. It’s as if we’ve washed and shined the surface of our car without taking the time to check under the hood. We may appear to be in great shape, but if we aren’t engaging in the deep, inner work of self-examination, the chances are good that we are not deeply aware of the real substance of our lives.

We live in a very appearance-oriented, externally focused world, so it makes sense that we place a lot of value on how our lives look, sometimes to the detriment of noticing how our lives really feel. When we get too caught up in what we are doing and lose track of our core, we sometimes begin to feel dissociated, as if we are not fully awake, alive, and grounded. This is a sure sign that it’s time to engage in the hard work of going deep within to rediscover the foundation of our lives. Without the substance that comes from looking at ourselves deeply, and working through the difficult things we find, our spiritual lives can start to feel hollow or shallow, as if there’s nothing at the center holding it all together.

Of course, the peace that comes with meditation and spiritual practice is an essential part of the whole picture of our development, but it serves us best in conjunction with the less settling, more chaotic work of digging around below the surface to see what needs to be healed, owned, or released. Then our actions are more than just an attempt to keep everything in control, looking pretty and nice. Fueled by the energy of a life in transformation, they become powerful expressions of courage and faith, further inspiring our own inner work and that of those around us.

Hovering Around The Sun

Avoiding The Center

It’s funny to imagine our lives as something we spend a lot of time avoiding, because it seems like that would be impossible to do. Our lives consist of everything we engage in, from showering to sleeping, but also a lot of busy work that distracts us and keeps us from looking at our lives. Experiencing our life from the inside means taking time each day to simply be alone and quiet in the presence of our soul. Many of us are so out of practice that it’s almost unnerving to have a moment to ourselves. As a result, we may have stopped trying to carve out that time to take a seat at the center of our lives.

One of the reasons it can be uncomfortable to sit with ourselves is because when we do, we tend to open ourselves to an inner voice, which might question the way we’re living or some of the choices we’re making. Sometimes the voice reminds us of our secret, inner yearnings, dreams we thought we had forgotten. When we already feel overwhelmed by our busy schedules, the idea of hearing this voice can be exhausting. However, its reflections are the chords that connect us to our authentic selves, and they are the very things that make our lives worth living. When we continually avoid connecting with our life, we risk losing out on the very purpose of our existence.

To begin the process of being more present and less absent in your life, you might want to set aside just a few minutes each day to simply sit with yourself. This doesn't mean watching a movie or reading a book, but taking time each day for self-examination to avoid the avoidance, to be with yourself in an open way. After a while, you may start to enjoy this part of the day so much that you make less busy work for yourself, so that you can spend more time at the center of your own life, rather than hovering like a planet around the sun.

Life Transitions

The Death And Rebirth Of Self

Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful or, if we don’t realize what’s happening, confusing and disorienting. In fact, confusion and disorientation are often the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move from infancy to childhood to adolescence and beyond. With each transition from one phase to another, we find ourselves saying good-bye to an old friend, the identity that we formed in order to move through that particular time.

Sometimes we form these identities in relationships or jobs, and when we shift those areas of our life become unsettled. Usually, if we take the time to look into the changing surface of things, we will find that a shift is taking place within us. For example, we may go through one whole chapter of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. One day, though, we may find ourselves feeling confined and restless, wanting to move outside the shelter we needed for so long; the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell our old self needed to survive.

We may feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and sadness as we say good-bye to a part of ourselves that is dying and make way for a whole new identity to emerge in its place. We may find inspiration in working with the image of an animal who molts or sheds in order to make way for new skin, fur, or feathers to emerge. For example, keeping a duck feather, or some other symbol of transformation, can remind us that death and rebirth are simply nature’s way of evolving. We can surrender to this process, letting go of our past self with great love and gratitude, and welcoming the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life.

The Feeling Underneath

Compulsive Apologies

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say "I’m sorry" so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when "excuse me" is more accurate.

Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time.

Grant Us Your Peace

O Lord, my God,

grant us your peace; already, indeed, you have made us rich in all things!
Give us that peace of being at rest,
that sabbath peace,
the peace which knows no end.

- St. Augustine

Thank You for the Special Things

Dear God,

We thank you for our food,
for life and joy and play,
We thank you for the special things
you give to us this day.

Appropriate for many faiths

source: Submitted by Beliefnet member Scharr

Moving in a new direction

Wow, what a difference a day makes! I have made some life-altering decisions and it feels good. It is awesome to be authentic and true to yourself, very liberating. I remember when I was like this in my youth. For some insane reason, I decided I needed to take a break, tone it down and try something else. It didn't work for me and I was miserable. I'd much prefer being myself. I would suggest that to everyone...be yourself. Don't deny yourself and don't forget who you are and Whose you are. God loves each and every one of us and He wants us to be happy above all else. I am putting my life back on track after a little detour. I've learned a lot on this journey and I am confident that God has some super cool things in store for me. I thought depending on God would be hard but it is much easier than depending on me or other people. He never fails. He will never leave me nor forsake me. God is so incredibly awesome.

Almost time to go home

I'm outta here in 15 minutes. I am happy to be on my own time but I'm not happy about all the work I have to do when I get there. It would be so lovely to kick back and relax but no! I have to do laundry, cook dinner, and all the other mundane chores that are necessary in running a household. Not to mention, I have to be nice to hubby. I guess it could be worse.

Happy Friday!

Today will be a good day. I am absolutely positive of that fact. Even though I overslept, I got ready and the kids ready on time and everything is going well so far. I paid my bills and I am confident that I will have a good day at work today. It would be nice to go out tonight but I won't press my luck. It would be nice to feel this good all the time. Depression sucks.

My first blog

I'm finally in the 21st century with my first blog. Perhaps now I will jot down my thoughts instead of just rambling to myself looking like a complete idiot. So far my day is pretty good and I am positively claiming that it will get better. Well, gotta go check my traps and perhaps I'll be back with more random thoughts later...