I hate love

Love sucks. Putting your heart out there to get trampled on hurts. I continuously make a fool of myself in the name of love for no sane reason whatsoever. I can see myself like I'm watching a horror movie and I don't do anything to stop the insanity. I call when I know he won't answer. I wait for his call knowing he won't. He calls and I don't say what's on my mind. I pick up the phone to call a million times a day and lose my nerve. I can't stand not being around him. I feel like a complete idiot when I am. I stumble over my words and say the most insane things when I talk to him. He has reduced me to a stumbling, bumbling moron who can't hold a decent conversation and I behave like I'm twelve years old.

I make myself sick. I constantly talk to myself trying to coax the sanity back but to no avail. Insanity wins again. I have cried myself to sleep more times than not. This rollercoaster I have put myself on is wicked and I can't seem to get off. My insides are turned inside out and pain in my heart is becoming unbearable. I know what to do but can't seem to do it.