love

I recently asked my man if he has ever been in love. He answered yes. Then, he asked me if I've ever been in love. I answered no. That got me to thinking, what is love? Of course love is an emotion but what IS it? Perhaps the question is, have I ever experienced it?

I think I have but I thought it was something else. What I felt didn't fit into the box that people have put love into. I develop strong feelings and rather quickly and it feels good. What I don't like is what comes with that feeling. The strong feelings that come quickly goes away equally as fast. It's like a sugar rush with the crash and burn. My feelings swing like a pendulum.

What has served me well is to avoid it. Even though it feels good, the pain feels worse and it isn't worth it. I try not to fall too fast too quickly but it doesn't always work. Presently, I am trying very hard not to fall in love with my man. He insists that I will fall in love with him and I don't doubt it. Of course I will not tell him that. I am trying to lead him to believe that love is not in the cards for me.

The reality is, it is already a done deal. I fell in love with him last night. God help me.