I didn't respond to his email when he called me names and I didn't respond to his attempt at an apology because I don't believe it. This is the type of behavior that led to the demise of our relationship. He would say/do mean, hurtful things, apologize and repeat the process. After 10 years of this, I got tired. That roller coaster ride got old.
I stayed as long as I did because I don't like divorce, I wanted the kids to have a 2 parent family unit, I felt guilty for wanting to leave and I wasn't financially prepared to do so. It took me 2 years to get over that and do what needed to be done and I have no regrets. I'm on the road to recovery and I am doing well in some areas and not so well in others which means I'm a work in process! I acknowledge my successes and my failures. I am also willing to take responsibility for my failures instead of going into denial. Progress!!
Going forward, I will continue to weigh my options and be careful to make the right decisions that work best for me. I will take advice if it is good and discount what isn't. I will continue to put me and my needs first on my list and will make an effort to not hesitate when changes are needed in my life and with the people in my life.
Continuing to keep it real, I have entertained the thought of getting married again but I know I'm not ready and perhaps never will. I will keep an open mind though because I am changing and I reserve the right to change my mind when I'm mature enough to do so. I will not allow others to persuade me to do otherwise no matter how good it sounds.
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